October 17, 2009

The Long Awaited Birth Story

Wow! So our little girl is now almost four months old and I still can't get over the story of her amazing birth. It was so overwhelmingly breathtaking. I tell complete strangers my feat of smarts and strength. I usually am wearing baby when I tell them and they see how safe and sound she is.

To start off with, Gabriel was born two and a half weeks over due. Almost all of the children in my family are "over-due". I expected my next baby to follow suit. Thank God Cory is a good Eagle Scout and always comes prepared for any situation. He was so worried that she would come earlier than expected and I would panic and therefore be in pain.

We were on Cory's family reunion in
Colter Bay Wyoming, right out of Jackson Hole for the 4th of July week. For those of you who don't know, I was burned on the 4th of July when I was four. Needless to say I abhor the holiday, so when I woke that morning with cramps I never thought that day would bring anything but a painful reminder. I will never again look at the day and not have a memory that that outshines such a dark day of my past. This is something known as perfect timing.

Cory was set for a short river rafting trip with his father and I wished him well, thinking the whole time my cramping would lessen. Doubting myself and not wanting to believe I was truly in labor for fear of slowing it down. When I went to the bathroom I discovered I was having my bloody show. Ever so excited and at the same time a little scared I came out and tried to call Mr.
Coryson. Leave it to him to have left his cell phone on the nightstand charging in case I went into labor. I went over to Trevor, his younger brother, to see if their dad Earl had his cell phone. Without a doubt he had left his phone too. Luckily their uncle had his phone on him and they had not left camp yet.

Cory came inside the cabin so excited and started bustling around like a mother hen setting up our birth tub in a box. (A gift on loan from our midwife back home in Oregon, who in her opinion thought I was cutting it far too close traveling so close to my due date.) He was the master of Duct Tape, a poorly fitting hose and shower setup. I thought it was far too early to begin setting things up, but knew it wasn't hurting anything. Besides it gave him something to do.

I took a walk with Gabriel and Earl to speed up my contractions. Gabriel babbled on about bugs, trees and rocks. It was just lovely, knowing everything was going to plan and also having my family around me. But at the same time, knowing just how conventional Cory's family can be at times was a little hard. Never the less they were all very supportive and caring, only wanting the very best for me and the baby. Offering to drive us into Jackson to be near the hospital, or into Idaho to a midwife run birth clinic, or the direct number for the paramedics should anything go awry.

After a while it started to begin to bring fear into my mind. I spoke with Cory about it and he took charge, telling family they could voice their concerns all they wanted. Just as long as it was away from the cabin so that we couldn't hear it. It rocked that he handled everything so I could focus on what my body was doing and birth our baby.

I bounced and rocked on my birth ball, listened to music, joking with Cory that I should pick out music I might like in the birth. It was something on my to-do list that I hadn't gotten around to yet. After a little while that tub started to looked oh-so-nice to me. I stripped, got in and Cory and I started to play rummy with each other. Card shark I am I kicked his ass in the two hands I could focus. Kudos to me! After those couple of hands I had to let my game go and just rock my body in the tub. I let the water ease me into each moment.

As soon as I shifted my frame of mind from pain to "An Interesting Sensation" it all changed for me. While it was never "Oh my God! Help! Save me, this hurts so bad!" (Like it was with birthing Gabriel.) It wasn't fun in that moment. When my thoughts changed, it became so easy. Drifting from one moment to the next, rocking on my hands and knees, feeling and breathing. I became this centered core listening to myself. The apprehension fell away and I floated in the water. My contractions were cool in the way that a large one would come and the next would be small. I was able to manage and breath and best of all know that everything was okay. That part was fun! F***ing glorious is what it was! Water rocks! I highly recommend it to EVERYONE!

It was so nice to have our family all around us. Most people had left the day before and another bunch earlier that morning. We never had to worry if Gabriel was taken care of or if he was receiving enough attention. That day he swam at the pool and watched a movie, hanging out with his Uncle Trevor and Grandpa Earl. I felt so at ease knowing if we needed any assistance all we had to do was shout.

After a hour and a half in the tub I went to the restroom and entered transition. Oh that sucked being out of my nice warm tub! I got scared for a moment going to the bathroom. I wiped and saw blood. I asked Cory if that was all right and he said yes. (You kind of loose your brains while in labor. Looking back I can say, "Well of course it was okay! It was just the last bit of cervix melting away." But in that moment I saw blood and got scared.) I am eternally grateful that Cory kept his wits and calm through the birth. He believes in birth, which is so beautiful, but best of all was educated in what birth can look like.

I wanted Aunt Alison to be there with me, so we called her on the phone and she came right over. I was just getting back in the tub when she arrived. She is an
E.R. nurse and is one of the kindest women I have ever met. I love Ali! I gravitated to her like a charged magnet. Cory said later, he was so glad to have her there, so I would have a women with me a that time. Her energy just felt so good and right. She kept telling me I was doing perfectly and that I was okay. Her being a mother and a women, I just trusted her judgment completely.

She and Cory spoke quietly while I labored. Cory showed her where the birth supplies were. She told us she thought it would be a wait before the baby was here. Under ten minutes later I gave birth to our daughter. Little did she know! Ha!

I felt inside and could feel the head inside about two inches from the brink of born. I didn't want to push too early but then there was just this urge. I allowed my body to control everything. I cried out once and the babes head came though. Alison started screaming, "You did it! You did it!" Cory and I both shushed her, knowing that it wasn't over yet. It made us smile seeing her reaction.

I asked if I could push again, but Cory asked me to wait. He felt around her neck for the cord and told me it was clear and I could push when I was ready. I looked down and saw a baby looking back at me, blinking under the water, a rosebud mouth in a little oh! The next rush came and I yelped as her shoulders passed though. Then Cory and I both brought this baby up to the air. I asked for the time, Cory asked what sex it was, and Alison was smiling ear to ear. It was 4:04 pm on the Fourth of July and a little girl was born to us in a cabin in the middle of the woods. We named her Malachi Rose Tanner. I cut her cord, while Cory held her and Alison spoke on the phone with our midwife.

Weeks later Cory told me if I wanted anything more from that birth I would just be being greedy and I have to admit he may have been right. I didn't tear, I was up and around right afterwards, barely sore. I had an unassisted birth and it was just beautiful! I was never put on my back, tied to machines, or told that my body wasn't working properly or that my baby was in danger and may die. I was supported and loved. I was a SUPER GODDESS for that moment! I rocked it baby! Our daughter is none the worse for it and yet again it just proves that BIRTH WORKS!

Thank The Trees 4 Faries

These photographs have made Cory and I just smile. Malachi looks like a little woodland fairy.

Malachi @ Four Weeks

At long last our photo's have arrived.

September 8, 2009

The Night Before The Big Move

The day before the big move Malachi slept almost all day with a few breaks just waking up to eat. She was very good for us, as a sleeping baby is always easy. She was only alert this evening as we were winding down from packing up the last bit. Cory & I wanted to see the difference our little one has grown. She looks much more mature now that when she was born. So much older that the two months that she is! Wow, it was a revelation to us. Even more so, for when Cory holds her she looks somewhat tiny and when I hold her she seems to grow by optical illusion just by me holding her. It's funny how that works.

September 7, 2009

Moving Part One

Cory & Gabriel bought me flowers to say thank you for all my hard work during this move. It will be the last move we make for the next five years. I've never lived in one place for five years. To me it seems like a slightly exotic concept. Over all this move has been so easy on me and suprising, especially with a new baby...

September 3, 2009

All Smiles

Little Malachi Rose looks like her great grandmother, Irene Rose Gage. It's the nose and the grin. I can only hope Malachi will be a spit-fire too.

August 22, 2009

Silent Night

Oh how lucky are we! Malachi Rose is now 7 weeks old exactly. She also slept from 9:20 p.m. to 6:23 a.m. last night/this morning! Ah precious sleep! Lovely wonderful miraculous sleep! I'm still in awe of just how good uninterrupted sleep feels. It's been so long for myself and Cory! But now of course I'm sure she'll be up five times tonight and I'll be just dead tired in the morning, but oh today has been just heavenly. Current thought: Babies are good little creatures. Have decided, today is not the day to eat baby. Wait till tomorrow! Plump her up some more.

August 19, 2009


Particular: Also meaning hard to please...

That's our girl alright. But after many tries and about $35.00 we found a Binky she likes. Sort of... If she is in the right mood... And if the stars are aligned just so... And though she can't see color yet, Cory and I swear she prefers the green Binky over the exact same pink Binky. I think this means trouble for us.

All in the Family

Like I've said. We're all a little bit sleepy since Malachi arrived. These pictures were taken from week three to week six. Luckily she's a cute baby. Cute enough to eat! Maybe baby stew is in order sometime soon! As I post this she is only waking twice a night, so the family is doing much better.

July 30, 2009


So our family has all been a little sleepy lately. Miss Peach is a great baby, but waking up three times a night can start to drain anyone. Luckily Cory is super helpful. I can be ever so slow at updating sites, so I thought I'd give you all a peek at our little pixy. Cory and I had photographs taken yesterday and these two samples from our session were sent to me today. I will be putting more photos up shortly along with Malachi's birth story.

May 27, 2009

Off to visit the family

At the end of June Gabriel, Camille and myself will be going to Colder Bay in Jackson Hole WY for a big Tanner family reunion. We are a little concerned the baby may want to make an early appearance to the family. It would be convenient in a way for her to meet so many new family members at once. It has also made us think about the birth and how to prepare for it away from home. Anyhow, Camille decided that she wanted a water birth, so in order to be ready should the little one choose to emerge at the reunion we are looking at purchasing a 'birth tub in-a-box'. Yes sounds cheesy, but hey it looks like just what we need. Coryson

April 8, 2009

Our First Class

Cory and I attended our first HypnoBirthing class tonight. The name of our instructor is Kristen, so that's an easy one to remember. The class lasted for three hours, but didn't seem that nearly that long. We saw two birth videos at the end of class which were very graphic. Graphic but short. With me looking to become a doula in the future, having already had one child and liking to research everything to death, I knew what birth looks like. Messy, bloody, wet and a little ouchy. Mr. Coryson, having been there when his little brother was born and living with me has seen either first hand or in pictures, so he was just fine. We both shared the opinion that it didn't look all that bad. Actually rather easy in fact. Take this with the knowledge that the two births we saw were natural without the use of interventions but in a hospital setting. Some of the other soon to be parents did not take it all quite so easily. In fact, two of the guys looked kind of sick near the end of the clips and one woman looked absolutely horrified. Also of note, I am the only woman in the group of 7 women, including instructors, who have had a child. That is so very strange to me, having lived in Utah for so long. Although I think that too many people have children before they are ready, it seems practically a epidemic in Utah. But who am I to talk. When is anyone ever ready for kids?! Cory and I are the only people in the group who have chosen to give birth at home. Everyone else is planning a hospital birth with a midwife. I had originally thought, living in Portland there would be a higher incidence for home birth. I suppose that is true overall percentage wise, but I was hoping to meet other parents more like Cory and myself. People who shared our beliefs and values, especially when it came to childbirth and parenting. Anyway, the class was fun, relaxing and informative. I think I'll be contacting the local La Leche League here in Portland to gain support with breastfeeding. With Gabriel, breastfeeding was something I really struggled with. It is such a different world living with a partner who supports me and I am so grateful for that.

March 30, 2009

Six Months Along Now & No Names In Sight...

Gabriel has taken up talking to my ever growing belly just about every day. He tells his little sister all about the wonderfulness of Poke'mon and what he did in school that day. He sings to the baby growing inside and kisses my roundness and pats it sweetly. The baby bumps him back and he smiles or frowns depending on the day. Sometimes asking if everything is okay? When I reply yes, he questions, "Then why did she kick me?"

Cory sings to the little one, mostly "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star". He tells her he is looking forward to seeing her. He wants her to grow big and healthy. He kisses my belly and is so kind to me. He dreams on noshing on her feet.

I speak to my little friend and tell her she is a vampire baby and I like it when she kicks. I tell her what I'm eating, what I'm reading and when I lay down in bed I like to poke her and feel her poke back. My favorite positions to rest in she seems to hate. I like to lay on my belly or curl over my stomach and just chill. She lets it known that this is not comfortable for her.

It is so different being pregnant this time. With Gabriel, when I was pregnant, I was less hormonal and had more energy. This time around it already feels like I'm sharing all my internal space with this person who is strong and BIG. Kick, kick, kick. Roll, thump, flip. All of these acrobatics around in my midsection, with no concern for the landlord. It's sweet though having all these warm and fuzzy's for my tenant.

Our only real trouble seems to be her name. It is still a mystery to us. Oh well, we still have three months or so left.

January 13, 2009

Thank God Babies Are Cute

Cory and I were talking about this just today. All babies in fact are pretty darn cute. Especially furry ones. I think that may be the reason there are so many animal-themed clothes in the baby section of clothing stores. I have fallen prey to this fashion obsession myself. I think the reason stems from not wanting to eat baby anything. A type of reminder as it were. And in this family, jokes are all around about eating our children. Strangely enough Gabriel has been adamant about not eating his baby sister. Though his favorite activity lately has been to quack like a chicken at my stomach and honk like a duck. Then he whispers to me, " The baby will think we have chickens and ducks all over the house!" Just the idea that he will be able to trick another person gives him such joy.

I am doing great in this pregnancy. The morning sickness a thing of the past, and now that I've hunted down B-12 shots I am a much happier mother of a vampire baby. I also have more energy, but that could also be due to the fact I've hit the four month mark. And I'm very excited about buying pink clothing!!!